reflections leaving quito & arriving in huancayo peru

Leaving Ecuador was heart renching. 3 months is long enough to fall in love with a new place and enough time to become too comfortable. I feel like i could go back there and live and work in Quito- a quite strange feeling. I did not expect that of myself because i have lived in Bellingham so long i anticipated that the sense of settling into a new place would be difficult. But i have learned that i have a really strong ability to build nostalgia- even before having left, i had been internally catagorizing the sensorial experiences of quito into little bundles of meaning and beauty. And then suddenly, after chasing rumors of current regulations on visas for weeks, and, with false hope i was denied an extended stay- unless i wanted to pay an extra $200. This was not a good option becuase i only wanted an extra 2 or 3 weeks to look into microfinance banks; and i was getting ansy, worrying about getting too comfortable.

i left crying. my friend rode with me to the airport and the flight to Lima was nearly as emotional as leaving home. I was obsorbed in the feeling of remoteness, thinking about the people i love and why. the clouds are beautiful in a plane and it was stunning to look down at golden mist rolling over those varying shapes of earth below. flying in a plane by myself, to an unknown city, to an unknown experience without a sense of how long it will last or the next step is probably the most alone i have ever felt. but at the same time, it prompted me to think and feel very honestly. i thought about where my grant begins and ends and where my life and me defines what i am doing. i have a sense of urgency and desire to tackle microfinance, get results. how i get that done means i have to work with my personal challenges of shyness, self doubt, lack of experience. i am a cautious person in many ways and have learned from hard lessons that sometimes flinging yourself into unknown experience is not a good idea. at the same time, i like to take risks; i like challenges, and i am trying right now to balance the two. opportunities must be created and that means i have to have courage and believe in my abilities.

I have to some up this reflection with: as i write this i know i am in the perfect place- i am doing what i need to be doing. with mindfulness towards what i want to achieve and just accepting that it is challenging, it will all work out. Yes, it bothers me to think of other´s who could possibly do a better job than i doing the same proposal- but this is really a personal internal learning experience for me. thats the greatest value at the moment for me. In my sweet little haven of Bellingham, everything is pretty predictable. i know what to exect when i take risks; i know the social rules; whats to be gained and every street, tree and nearly every person by sight. in this journey, i have myself, and i think i am finding something out about what my substance really is. this is a really good thing, becuase i think the more i can trust in that, the more effective i can be at achieving my goals.

Huancayo is way up in the mountains, just a mere 7 hour winding bus ride through chaotic geology and bromelaids hanging from steel colored cliffs. I left Lima and its dank smell of stagnant sea, after a lovely night at a homestay with a family that picked me up from the airport and delivered me to the bus station in the morning. i slept hard but still had a stomach bug and plugged ears from the flight. quito is over 9000 feet high and Lima, sea level. as the bus headed out of town i realized that i really had seen nothing yet of south america. quito is very modern in comparison and as i looked out the window i was stunned to see endless rows of homemade bricks holding up rusted tin scraps where people live along the highway and straggling up the rust colored mountains, devoid of any significant vegetation- a very desolate view. i listened to bluegrass most of the way and devoured the view all the way to Huancayo.

I am happy to report that i found an organization that doesnt suck funds from students and provides a relaxed and supportive environment. they connect volunteers with an orphanage, a community children´s center in the middle of a brick-making neighborhood ( where volunteers direct and provide activities), a medical center and educational center for children. they helped me shop for paint for a mural in at the comm.kid´s center and sort out airplane ticket stuff. last weekend we went to see Wanki- Incal ruins and walked around talking about the history of the local area. in the future, they will be helping me translate interviews with microfinance institutions here in Huancayo.

Besides the painting project and assisting in art lessons and english at the community center, i have been spending mornings with toddlers and babies at the orphanage. my first day, i was nervous anticipating making babies cry, worrying about picking them up correctly or not understanding what they need. but as i was installed behind the barrier of a cradle blocking me into a room full of screaming toddlers, all fears dissapeared as half-pints waddled over to me with clinging fingers and toothless smiles. within half a minute i was pulled to the floor by four gregarious boys, wanting to sit on me, touch my hair, put there fingers in my nose. i played hard that day with 9 kids. all boys but for one. it was a triumphant day and i felt quite joyful walking in the cool breeze home, looking at the purple mountains that surround the valley of Huancayo.

The next day i spent with the babies and it was all as much satisfying as the day before although a bit more serious. these kids stay in cribs until they can walk and that means that they dont get enough excerise or stimulation. nurses run around changing and feeding and hardly have time for playing with the kids. The babies are complacent and silent most of the time, not making the normal cooing noises and screaches. they do cry. i have gotten to know a few of their personalities and work on getting them to copy my noises and encourage them to explore. i hold them and sing bluegrass and play with their feet and hands. i really like it becuase when they engage with interest i feel like i have added to their development. there is one boy that is hardly paid attention to becuase he is disabled and cannot sit up, walk or hold his head up. i have just made friends with him and carry him around the nursery and play with toys with him. now that i have seen his amazing smile, i want to keep finding ways to help him.

Lastly, I have found a symposium on microfinance as a peackeeping tool that is taking place on the 22 and 23 or January in Cali, Colombia. I have to go! I am now registered and today am buying a plane ticket. I plan to take notes and then spend a day or two writing it out here on the blog. Its one of the things i have wanted to do on this journey and so i am making it happen. I hope to return here to Huancayo becuase so many of the right things are accessable to me here.
chow!

A new location for the new year

Here is just a quick update. I "donated" 30$ to Ecuador trying to get a visa. It didn't work so I bought a ticket for Lima, Peru for the 2nd of January. I will be in the highland city of Haunacayo, volunteering at an orphanage above the city of 350,000 folks. It seems like a reasonable organization, (Mosoq Ayllu) & doesn't charge more than room & board. Although they are not involved in microfinance, they said they would be happy to assist me in locating microfinance in Hanacayo. Yeah!
Right now I am frantically gathering last minute things together before everything is shut for the new year celebrations. Who knows how many days that will last.
I wish everyone a great new year!

in the news...

So, I have been recuperating from my illness by eating lots of fresh fruit, juice and soup. today i tried a soup with chicken & cows feet plus liver- real healthy and although i didnt try the chicken feet the cow was delicious!
Lately i have been trying to concentrate on turning my spanish into something useful. I read the papers here and go to class with articles that i want to discuss knowledgeably. i try to keep up a daily diologue in Spanish about politics here in Quito and whatever else keeps the conversation heated and interesting. i now have a conversational partner- english for spanish with an ecuadorian who enjoys politics. this is a good opportunity, becuase i can ask a longterm Quito resident for info and opinion.

I have discovered from the local paper that Libya, Iran and Russia are all making friends with
Ecuador. President Correa just visited Iran- who is lending money and technology to Ecuador for securing the Columbian boarder and then Correa popped in to visit Gaddafi, to express his admiration for his political career. Interesting yes? My profesor commented that these relations will be good for Ecuador- Libya has oil, so does Ecuador. She views this as a possible new aliance that can strengthen Ecuador. It does appear that Correa is rapidly shifting the country left, opposing privatization, and doing a lot of social spending. He is also known and criticized for having a quick temper, and being really good looking. Quitenos say that his volitile personality makes him untrustworthy with political decisions and several have commented that he was elected over a better qualified encumbant, based on his looks. Well, the voting process is never perfect.

Other news here: relations with Brazil have been strained due to corrupt Brasilian contstruction firms. one, Odebrecht, built a hydroelectric plant last year with money lent to Ecuador from a development bank in Brasil. the plant was built poorly and the Odebrecht spent some time fixing it. Now it is fine, but the incident amplified tensions caused by on-going problems with Brasilian companies that have overcharged for shoddy work. Not only have I read about this, but I know a Brasiliano who worked on that project. the result was that Correa kicked out all Brasilan construction companies, leaving 3500 Brasilian workers jobless and several projects on hold. however, this week diologue has reopened.

To illustrate the logic of the government here, Ecuador is due to make a foreign debt payment in 2012 of 30.6 million (out of 680million) , but Correa has declared the debt illigitamate, becuase the previous government had aquirred the money and misappropriated it. well, in the same time frame, Ecuador just bought some huge airplane for some amount similar to the debt payment.

Here is another example. Recently the constitution was revised and that means that all sorts of bureaucratic mayhem has ensued. for example, when i left for Ecuador all official websites indicated that obtaining a tourist visa was as simple as paying $30 dolars. I have recently learned that these websites are pathetically behind in current information and that in the last few months, regulations and laws on immigration and all visas have changed sporatically.

For me this has manifested as running around to all sort of offices with officials holding differing opinions. then there are the rumors and tall tales of people successfully gaining visas, or that crossing the Colombian boarder works, mixed with scary accounts of huge fines, extortion, and unsafe boarders- and not because of FARC or drugtrafficing.
okay- so here is my situation. I need just a little more time. I want to investigate the flower-trade in Ecuador, workers conditions, wages, export. I can sort of speak Spanish now so its possible, with a native Spanish-speaking friend to interview people. find microfinance in the city ect. But, my visa expires on the 2nd of January. between after xmas and the new year is a really hectic time to travel. and i dont want to up and scram out of Ecuador without checking out topics and territory a little more.

rants and the trip to Pasachoa

So its been awhile since i wrote. and now i am going to have to catch up in installments. today i am a little frustrated feeling. i have just spent a week and a half ill with bacterial infection and parasites. i have learned how fragile and dangerous it can be to just eat whatever, drink whatever. i simply have tried to eat cheap and at everyday restaurants. i cook at home as well, but here i am, after a month of feeling tired and wondering if my enemia had reasserted itself, depleted from bugs in my stomach! so yes, immobility, and the scariness of illness have left me feeling like i am falling behind. i have to recapture momentum.
i plan to secure some contact in Peru for volunteer work after the holidays and to spend december volunteering here in quito. i am not ready to leave here yet. its been good to absorb one place and practice spanish. im going to back up and tell some stories but first i just want to comment how difficult it is for me to assimilate a new language! i have learned the grammar, but my ears and tongue are still stupid! it comes in waves. one day i will feel pretty capable, the next retarded. and its a struggle to find new spanish speaking individuals to speak with. its necessary to practice everyday outside of class but this can be difficult. okay, thats my rant. now to Pasachoa....
over a month ago 3 women friends and i went to hike one of ecuadors national forests. a cloud forest no less- full of hundreds of bird species and cloaked in fog. we left with minimum money, food and equipment with the idea that it was an overnight trip. we descoverd that national parks charge a premium to foreigners, something not listed in my guide book, and overall, the caretakers showed some animosity towards our presence there- i have no idea why.
so we planned to rise early and begin our assent towards a lookout a couple thousand feet higher than quito (numbers later) that would take about 8 hours round trip. but, becuase it was still light, we decided on a short loop hike for the afternoon. we had about two and a half hours until dark and i thought well, this could be interesting. we started through a meadow and up into bamboo forest with bird calls all around, bromelaids (tropical plants) perched on trees and stunning views across gorges than ran steeply down. it was cloudy and had obviously been raining a lot recently. the trials were muddy, slippery but not at all unmanagable if your from the northwest. i felt right at home and slopped up the trail, enjoying being out of the bus exhaust and in the quiet. we passed a sign that indidated our half way mark and walked onward. the trail began to angle down and this is where the adventures begin.
my hiking partners hailed from Paris, London, and somewhere in Australia- some not exactly versed in the ways of mud and fuana. slipping and falling, injuring knees, trembling and wet, oh, and some laughter, my friends discovered the unpredictable side of tourism. nature is wild and doesnt care about you or whether you get good pictures or not. the journey became stressful and as the light began to dwindle, fear. however, i am not afraid of the dark or navigating through the forest, only of people.
then a strange thing happened: we rounded a corner and came upon a wailing little girl and her giant german shepard, standing in the trail. luckily, one member could speak excellent spanish and was able to ask what the matter was. apparently, this tiny child of like 6 or so was separated from her uncle and was told to go to a certain place to meet him if she got lost. the direction was back towards the forest and she was terrified. we convinced her to come with us so we could call someone. this took half and hour or so and now it was pretty dark. we reached the meadow from where we had begun and at that point we heard someone calling for the girl. another camper helped us call the man´s name, backtracking, trying to hear how far away he was. we called, "Lucho!" for 20 minutes or so and then suddenly a man on horseback appeared, smiling. he didnt say anything, nor did Monica, the little girl, but silently climbed onto the horse behind him and off they went into the night.
on the return home, some of my comrades felt that the man was rude for not saying thank you. this really frustrated me. i was just sick of every action thats taken by an ecuadorian that is not exactly the same response as a westerner being attributed to some character flaw. indeed i have learned more about judgementalism, racism and how narrowmindedness prevails among well educated, sane westerners than i ever cared to intimately know!
the stereotypes of the "other" as lazy, using and dishonest seems to still find a foothold and i have talked with people a lot about this, both with ecuadorians and tourists. there is no good reason for it. its just too easy to point rather than consider the position and conditions from which another person is acting. this topic encompasses the questions of whether immigrants should learn the language of their host country, why they dont actually learn and whether they feel compelled to do so and for what reasons; do hostfamilies actually need the money they earn from homestays or are they just after a higher living standard and is this somehow dishonest- should they instead only be concerned with facilitating a cultural exchange; do ecuadorian women seek foreigners for marriage as a way to better their lives; and does machismoism effect the wellbeing of women and limit their opportunities towards education, work and self betterment.
yes, there is more to be said about the elections in the US, opinions on Correa and the revisions of the Ecuadorian Constitution, economics and my visits to Centro Historico and the amazing Basilica there, but in bites.

dios de los muertos

It is the tradition in ecuador that on the day of the dead, everybody consumes a drink called colada molada- which is like a blackberry smoothy but served warm and the little bread boys are called guagua. everybody loves the morada and everywhere i went during the week, people insist that you partake. it is delicious!

i went with my professor on sunday to an indigenous cemetary and learned from a speaker there that the deep purple color of the morada represents the dark color of the dead´s blood, while eating the bread reminds the circle of life& death- nourishment provided by pachamama (earth) and the returned to pachamama when we die.
i found out when we got there that in fact this was not where any of my professor´s relatives were burried and i was concerned that i might offend by entering the cemetary. my professor assured, oh no, it is completely acceptable. still, i hesitated, and crept in.
there were a handful of other westerners there with expensive cameras and an news team. it gave me an overwelming sense of unease that while people are trying to morn and carry on with there way of life, they are a curiousity to outsiders and are somehow tolerated. i dont know really what people there thought, but i never felt hostility from any one.
and, as i write this and wish to describe what it was like, i feel a little like i have taken something without asking. this happens to me quite often, and i feel that it is inevitable as people from different cultures interact, each side seeing only the superficial or straight-up assumtions. i am very aware in each interaction that involves money, or being in a public place that many people see me as only a source of money, or as a symbol of an unfair disparity between themselves and white, western people. i do talk about this with ecuadorians and other westerners, which sparks some quite heated conversations, leading back to history, economics and belief systems.
okay- back the cemetary: directly up the stairs is a large painting of jesus with a tablecloth on the ground many plates of food, flowers, drinks, plants on it. a band was warming up playing on electric guitar an iggy pop song, just adding to the surreal emotions of the day. the graves are placed quite close, somethimes without a decernable path between. the name-stones were mostly concrete crosses covered in white tiles. roses, calla lilies and shiny papered wreaths cover the grave places.
families are busy cleaning the graves, afterwards they share a meal with the dead. children run around and there is a constant flow of people moving about, visiting, talking, listening to music. a man was talking to his dead relative, gesturing with his hands towards the ground, and i thought god, ive got to get out of here, i dont belong here, this is not personal for me. i gestured to my teacher towards the entry and we began to pick our way between graves and clusters of people. at one point the path was unclear. it was obvious we would have to walk over some graves. this really distressed me. i thought this just tops it off. i had been thinking about how at home dead are not talked about and was remembering my grandfather, and others that are gone to me and i felt sad and teary that at home we do not celebrate or acknowledge the dead.
i sucked it up and stepped in the same path as a man in front of me and crossed over several graves. there was a traffic jam of people and i was standing, wanting to leave, but not wanting to run away and the feeling of tears in my eyes because i hated the feeling of not being able to express to the people arround me that i meant no disresect. two grandmothers passed in front of me carrying immense packs and when i looked up a man held out a pan de way-way to me. i looked at him like, are you sure? and he held the bread out closer. i took it and said thank you and he said it all with his eyes.